“Momma...I’m through…!”
These are among the emotional last words of George Floyd as he was being tortured under the knee of a man who showed no regard for this man’s precious life.
“Momma”, is a name I answer to as my own children seek my attention. Momma is different from the title “Mother” or even “Mom”. Momma brings to mind relationship, connection, and comfort. It denotes a warmth and tenderness that is uniquely and carefully cultivated over time.
Children call for Momma…
...because they are afraid
...when they are hurt
...when they feel alone
...when they feel unknown
Momma’s help us…
...understand (discern) what’s wrong and what’s right with a given circumstance
...find fresh strength and perspective
...find comfort in connection and warm hugs
...launch forward as they affirm our purpose and identity
I dare not conjecture at what Mr. Floyd may have been thinking about as he felt his life slipping away, but the fact that “Momma” was among his last words ever spoken hits me deep in the core of my own motherhood.
When a child cries for Momma, it sparks an immediate rescue response. Baring extreme dysfunction, or perhaps mental or physical disabilities, when a child sounds the alarm that something is awry, mothers will move heaven and earth to get to them. This is not just a response for the small child, but it continues on well into adulthood. Perhaps George Floyd even at the age of 46, had a deep awareness of his mother’s love that brought him a deep sense of comfort even as he lay there dying on the streets of Minneapolis. God rest his soul.
As a mother, I have deep trauma about the seeming regularity of the death of Black men and women at the hands of people who have been sworn to protect and serve. With each murder, I see the faces of my Black sons or daughter. The grief that comes upon me, as a result, is almost unbearable. It ignites a deep soul ache born of empathy for the mother who will never see her child on this side of heaven again.
As my children got old enough to understand conflict and life and death matters, it was my husband’s job to teach them how to get home safely; it was my job to teach them how to be emotionally and spiritually astute to people and their surroundings. I spent countless hours training them to understand that evil spirits exploit humans to carry out their evil schemes.
After having homeschooled them for many years, we sent them outside of our home to attend high school. Each day as they walked out the door, I quoted the following two-fold mantra, “Walk with the King today and be a blessing, and never forget that the enemy (Satan) hates you!” I know they thought I was being “hype”, but it was important they understand their assignment in this evil world. I wanted them to understand that the struggles they would face would present both an opportunity to be a blessing and glorify God, and to also understand that the struggle was and is supernatural. It is a battle being fought in the heavenlies.
Mommas...I know the horrific events we see in living color over and over again cause deep grief and anger inside. In some cases, it may even cause hopelessness and depression.
But I need you to hear me well in the charge that I am about to give to you…
We are believers! And as believers, we must press into the presence of God so we will be able to discern what battle we are fighting. We must know the real enemy! When we know the real enemy, we will choose the right weapons.
Racism is just the vehicle the enemy is using at this moment. He also uses sexism, classism, and anything else he can think of to cause discouragement in the hearts of the Believer. The real battle is light against darkness. He ultimately wants us to question God’s great love for us and his sovereign power over everything. This, my friends, is a spiritual war!
Even as I am writing this, I can hear you saying, “yeah, yeah, I hear you with all of that bible stuff, but what do I do with my real-life emotions?” My answer may seem too simplistic, but it is powerful.
Worship! Worship through your fears and your tears. Worship and tell God about your anger. He can handle it. His love for us is unfailing.
When the world seems to devalue our identity as Black people, remember that you are not an Orphan...You have been adopted by the Holy God. You belong to him (Romans 8:15). His love for us is unfailing. Jesus our great High Priest knows exactly what we are going through. He is praying for you...so am I.
With you heart & soul,
Christine
